Endless Taxonomy of Songs Stuck in My Head, Volume 33

“I’m Gonna Run to You” Bryan Adams|1984|A&M Period: Upon waking to now Frequency: 1:1 Accuracy: Sketchy Volume: Like it’s playing from the neigbor’s garage Who is responsible: Not sure Could be Worse, Could Be: Mutual of Omaha. I hated Bryan Adams when his sappy shit hit AOR stations in the 80s and I hate him

Humor Book of the Year

MEDIA RELEASE Friday, June 22, 2018 THE FULL ENGLISH named 2017 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards Winner. CHICAGO—On Friday, June 22, Creative Writer PRO is pleased to announce THE FULL ENGLISH has been named a winner in the 20th annual Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards on Friday June 15th. THE FULL

Endless Taxonomy of Song Stuck in My Head, Volume 32

“Then There’s Maude” Marilyn & Alan Bergman|Dave Grusin|1972|CBS Period: Diurnally Frequency: 1:1 to present Accuracy: Imperfect Volume: Stadium level Who is responsible: Not sure Could be Worse, Could Be: Gilligan’s Island. I watched Maude with my parents when I was in grade school, though I swear it feels like I watched it when I was much

That Ten Album Thing Done Right, 02

High school again. Maybe just barely post-high-school. Same people. My lifelong friends and advisors. This album ruined me. I remember my friend Bill W. and I in his hand-me-down Volvo, like some kind of weird European boat, with this tape playing, racing through the midnight back roads of Lake County Florida, barreling along the low hills

That Ten Album Thing Done Right 01

Ann Chen tagged me in the Ten Albums That Changed Your Life With No Explanation thing on Facebook. I’m down for it, but I’m less and less enamored of the endless erosion of discourse caused by the abrasive nature of social media. Why would I not tell you how these albums changed my life? I

Endless Taxonomy of Songs Stuck in My Head, Volume 7

“Nothing” Nobody|0000|None Records Period: Never Frequency: 0:0 to present Accuracy: Perfect Volume: Library Who is responsible: God? Could be Worse, Could Be: Tinnitus. I woke up, as I do every morning, with a snippet from a popular song from my lengthy, well-worn past playing on endless repeat in my gargantuan dome. But now, at 11:01

Endless Taxonomy of Songs Stuck in My Head, Volume 6

“Jive Talkin'” Bee Gees|1975|Criteria Records Period: 3:17 p.m. to present Frequency: 1:1 Accuracy: Perfect Volume: Dinner chatter Who is responsible: The 70s Could be Worse, Could Be: Stayin’ Alive. Of all the stupid, insipid, feckless and vapid iterations of unnecessarily apostrophized song titles, “Jive Talkin’” is my favorite. I don’t even mind this record being stuck

Endless Taxonomy of Songs Stuck in My Head Every Day, Volume 5

“If You’ve Got the Time, Country Version II F” Bill Backer/Johnny Mack|1971|Miller High Life Period: 5:30 a.m. to present Frequency: 1:1 Accuracy: Perfect Volume: Unavoidable Who is responsible: Unknown Could be Worse, Could Be: Whatever they do at Coors. Ever watch Mad Men? The guy that wrote this commercial jingle was Don Draper. He actually

Endless Taxonomy of Songs Stuck in My Head Every Day, Volume 3

“Age of Aquarius” 5th Dimension|1969|Soul City Records Period: 3:30am to present Frequency: 1:1 Accuracy: Poor Volume: Conversational Someone posted that meme with a picture of a garden with the phrase ‘this is the awning of the cage of asparagus’ and the song bloomed in my mind and now it’s there. Why was I awake at 3:30 in the