"If You've Got the Time, Country Version II F"
Bill Backer/Johnny Mack|1971|Miller High Life
Period: 5:30 a.m. to present
Frequency: 1:1
Accuracy: Perfect
Volume: Unavoidable
Who is responsible: Unknown
Could be Worse, Could Be: Whatever they do at Coors.

Ever watch Mad Men? The guy that wrote this commercial jingle was Don Draper. He actually wrote “It’s the real thing,” for coke–which Mad Men stole for Draper’s apotheosis.

I don’t know who the fuck Johnny Mack was, apparently a piano player, and I don’t care. His prolapsed cheerful hang-dog voice is in my head right now and I want to kill him.

Why couldn’t it be the version by the Troggs? Why couldn’t it be the straight up jingle version? No. It’s the full song, piano intro and all, and it’s getting its mail delivered and it’s never going to leave.


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