Endless Taxonomy of Songs Stuck in My Head Every Day, Volume 4

"Take Me Home Country Roads"
John "No, I Really Can Fly This Plane" Denver|1971|RCA Records
Period: 3:30 a.m. to 5:00 a.m.
Frequency: 1:6
Accuracy: Dead one
Volume: Meh
Who is responsible: [My Attorney]
Could be Worse, Could Be: Sunshine on My Shoulders

Not a fan. Though I was. When I was a kid. When I was innocent and didn’t know better. I sang this song constantly.

As an artifact of popular music, T.M.H.C.R. bears the burden and strange singularity of being a perfect pop song. Its melody is pure 70s schlock. It is saccharine yet utterly sincere. It is reminiscent yet hopeful and forward-looking. Its words are fitted to the melody with such remarkable precision one cannot unlearn the lyrics, can’t un-hear the song. It is worse than merely memorable: it is tinnitus with a steel guitar.

You will remember the words to this song against your will. Against all hope. If you find yourself in a piano bar on a cruise ship off the coast of Somalia handcuffed to a deck chair and half-dead from pirate abuse, and they play this song, you will sing it involuntarily.

Fortunately, even my inner earworm cannot maintain the active performance of this hideous tune and by sunrise, it had disappeared.


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Meet The Author

Bull Garlington is an award-winning author and columnist. He lives in Chicago with his [attorney] where he keeps an expensive couch from flying off into space and cooks a lot of gumbo.

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